Purgatory

I once read a book called "On A Pale Horse". It was written by Piers Anthony, a famous Sci-Fi writer. The book was about a man, who attempted suicide, and his soul was so much in balance that death had to come for him personally to collect his soul. When I say death, I mean death the person, the Incarnation of Death. Well Zane, the main characters name, shot Death in the head instead of taking his own life, thus he was forced to assume the roll of Death. When a persons soul was so close in balance, they were sent to a place called Purgatory, there they would exist untill the balance of their soul shifted good or bad and they could move onto heaven or hell. With the exception of all the paperwork they were doing in the book, the actual description is very close to what the catholic religion, (mine) also believes.

It's a word that also means in limbo, to wait, to not move forward, or backwards even I guess. It's a word used to describe the after life, but sometimes we find ourselves living this way and not even knowing it. I look at myself sometimes for instance. The half marathon I just did on the 13th of this month was symbolic to me, things began to change for me in my life last year around that exact event. I look now at where I sit, just one year later in my life, and what has changed? I've run a marathon, getting ready to run another here in 9 days. I've traveled to a few cities I'd never been to, met some new people. I took the position in my company that I hold now on May 4th last year. That's coming up too. I make the same exact wage I did the day I took it. Granted, they pay me well for what I do, some work, post on RWOL, write blogs, fuck around on myspace, lol. Which is exactly what I was doing when I started this job about a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I work my ass off, but I also have some leeway in my job, because I do as good a job as I do.

I was told a story on Wednesday night, one that kind of mirrored my life in ways. And as we talked for a while, I began to realize that I have left myself in my own little Purgatory, drifting, happy to live for the day, but not addressing tomorrow.

I should really start addressing today, but I think I'll start tomorrow...